I STINK!

Well most people close enough to me know that!! I stink. I'm talking underarm, pit STINK! (oh and btw, Jude will HATE this post...tmi). I smell like a HOT bowl of french onion soup and maybe worse...since most people can't even smell their own STINK. You know like the people that wear too much cologne but never smell it on themselves yet we could all fall over from the stench. So this is my fear... I smell worse then I THINK I do :(... I wont use an antiperspirant (I know it would work, but I'm a bit too "crunchy" for that!), I have tried EVERYTHING!! 

 And I do mean EVERYTHING! Stuff that is not even pictured here!! Stuff called "Funk Butter" (nasty name huh??), "Hippy Dippy" sh*t... Coconut Powder, sprays and crystals and lotions and potions... But it's no use.. I stink *hangs head in shame*. SooOOoo if you can smell me from a mile away(or closer), please inform me. It's not like I don't know ;). And while I wont be able to do a damn thing about it, I may clear out of the room to protect the very young and elderly! Oh and another thing...could you PLEASE tell me when I have a chin or mole hair growing an inch long!!??? I know I have them!! But I don't always see them...so just tell me, damn it!! Come on people... Thanks :)
Oh and btw... I had 20 minutes of this today....

NO HAT!! Progress....even if just baby steps... Happy Sunday!!!