A Spy Among Us..

Just a quick post... I know it's been FOREVER... but I promise to be back very soon... Just putting it out there that we have a "spy among us"

 No big deal.. clearly a mutual FB friend of mine and my STBX(soon to be X) has alerted a "certain someone"(STBX, Duh) about the goings on on my FB page and well of course, my blog! So no worries. I will not edit or filter myself too much..(like I EVER do !) but just so WE are all aware...maybe ya'll need to edit and filter your sh*t...Just kidding, PLEASE DON'T! Back posting about all thing Abney's very soon!! Oh and BTW we had a wonderful, magical Christmas...

 JUST KIDDING!! Although I might say this was the funnest(is that a real word??) part!!! But it was more like this... SMILES!

Hope you all did too :) Here's to a wonderful and magical New Year Ya'll! Love, The Abney 3 :)

He's baaaaack!!!

He's back. Erwin our Elf!

Now for those who don't know the story about the Elf, I'll give you a little back round. Erwin is an Elf sent from Santa. He lives at the North Pole all year but around this time of year he comes to stay with us (flys back with Santa Christmas Eve). During the day he watches the boys...you know, to see if they are naughty or nice... he flys back to the Pole (North, that is!) every night and reports to Santa on their behavior... (bad Mommy, I know!).   A few rules come with Erwin... You can talk to Erwin(tell him secrets or things you want for Christmas) but you must never touch him or he will lose his "magic". Cole brushed up on the "rules"..

Erwin arrived December 2nd..making his grand entrance like this...

He brought the boys Elf cookie that Cole said Erwin MUST have made himself since they looked just like him ;)... It also looks like Erwin brought his "A" game this year...

A "snowball" fight with Brownie??!!! ...(I think it was a tie) and then there was this this morning...

Seriously Erwin!!?? Underwear and animal collars?? Is nothing sacred this year (he didn't pull stuff like this LAST year!).. But how will he keep this UP?? I mean most other children's Elves just "HIDE" somewhere in the house!! Ours does sh*t like THIS!!?? Well we have Erwin for another 20 days... please DON'T (wink wink) give him anymore ideas(feel free to NOT leave ideas in the "comments")!! Well at the very least the boys are behaving and Cole edited his "list" to only 2 things(iPod touch & My Keepon(whatever the hell that is!!))!! And Drew still only wants one thing...but that would be an iPad(taking donations!! ;))!!
So our tradition continues..next weekend we will go cut down our Christmas tree...I love this time of year.. :D The boys do too...well except for having to try on clothes to wear for the "Holiday" Concert..

But I think they liked the massage chairs...

Now that's what I WANT for Christmas!! Now go lock up your underwear drawer... I have no control over our Elf!! Peace people <3

The apple doesn't fall far....

Sometimes I think "damn, my kids are nothing like me!"... I'm  not talking looks here, I'm talking personality :)... But yesterday Cole was being Cole... :)

My kids are NOT athletic...They don't ask to play on a "team" sports... soccer, baseball or basketball etc...
So Cole had a "play date" at a friends house and their computer needed a little fixin'... So Cole being Cole(and instead of "playing".. well they played a little!) went and fixed it!! Cleaned it up, and got it back "online" again.. downloaded a new browser too! (We love us some Google Chrome!) He's our tech guy for sure! He does a lot of tinkering around on the computer(he knows WAAAAY more than I do about them!!)...he would much rather do that than play soccer!! And sometimes I worry... He's not like other little boys...

This morning I was thinking (did you smell that!!??) I was thinking about "who" I was as a kid... I wasn't hugely athletic...but I played tennis, rode horses, played field hockey(goalie though) and then it hit me... I wasn't a "team" player either!!(and some may agree, I'm still NOT) I played things that were more "one on one" I wasn't drawn to playing WITH a bunch of kids...but in more smaller groups with a LOT less competition! I built "Fairy" houses with my best friend Katie and made haunted houses, "talked" to the trees!...oh and we thought we were witches as well ;) (see I was "different" too!) Witches, HA!!

... I certainly wasn't like other girls... and most will agree yet again, still NOT!
Cole is an amazing, wonderful, kind, FUNNY as HELL "different" little boy... My little apple!..which btw, I hope he works for some day ;)
Now go be who you are!

Tag...your it...

Just a quick observation(ok maybe not so quick!)... Drew has been doing a WHOLE lot more of this....

What's that you might ask ;)... playing...playing with other kids... wanting to play with other kids..."getting it" too!! Now don't get me wrong. This is not entirely new BUT he is now seeking it out...a LOT more! A little back story.. When Drew was first diagnosed with autism he had Early Intervention or EI for short. Therapists came to the house and "worked" with him...mainly doing ABA therapy(applied behavior analysts).. and as I learned more about ABA the most I grew to DISLIKE it!! I have lots of friends that LOVE it and believe it can work wonders(and for some, it does!) and I totally respect that... But I knew it was not a good fit for us (some, maybe, us, NO WAY!) I wont get into it too much but it is a VERY rote way of learning. Something is presented over and over to the child until they are able to do it..normally in a very rote manner...meaning it never really "appears" to come naturally.. Like for example, an ABA therapist is teaching a child with autism what to say and do when greeted ... The child may learn to respond when asked "How are you doing?" "I'm fine and you?"  And this would be the only way that child could respond(sometimes autism makes it hard to think "outside the box")... he wouldn't vere too far from the "script"( this is an OVERLY simplified explanation, but you get it!). Now let me say that ABA is one of the ONLY proven methods to teach kids with autism but I don't follow the pack..and I don't like to listen to"authority"! And I'm glad we followed our own beat... So Drew received very little ABA because I didn't want him to have "that" kind of therapy(but let me say I LOVED his therapists!!)... He probably progressed slower than other children on the spectrum BUT what he did gain(by just "being")was something that "appears" to be natural!! So today when I saw him join in a game of "tag" it was clear that he WANTED to, not that he was taught to.  KWIM?? Drew does everything in his own time...it may be extremely sloooow(for some), but I know he will get there....in his own time :)...or maybe it was just the moon.. NAH!

FULL and spectacular... hurry, go take a peek... off to enjoy a looooong weekend with my amazingly wonderful boys! No really, they are :) Spectacular... just like the moon...

Cool dude....

I went to my Mom's today to take care of some "business" (shredding, SOooooOOo exciting!!) and every time I go to my Mom's I think about my Dad... because she lives(lived) near the airport where he used to keep his planes. My Dad flew... he was a pilot(among other things!). He flew cessnas. I always called them "Hondas with wings". They were little 4 seater planes and sounded like chipmunks ran them but let me tell you, they were cool as shit!! (and yes that's ME with my Dad, not some guy!!)

  My Dad flew us LOTS of places....like to sleep away camp, Luray Caverns(very cool!! go ahead, Google it!) and of course the Jersey shore(as a child I had NO idea what it was like to sit on the GSP in traffic heading to the shore!). Back then I didn't "get" how special or cool this was... but as I got older and the day my Dad died I KNEW how special it was...The day my Dad died I was very sad that I would never get to see him again and what hit me next... that I would NEVER fly with him again... The man that would meet me on my lunch hour and fly me to the Delaware Water Gap and back(in less than an hour!)...Now how COOL is that??!! He was cool.. super cool!
So today I popped over to the Morristown Airport and took a look around....

 And I was reminded what an amazing childhood I had and what an incredible Dad I had! One cool dude.. And I hope I can "create" an amazing childhood for my boys as well... well minus the flying my own plane part!!! And maybe one day they'll look back and think I was one cool Mom... Well shit, I do let them eat cold pizza for breakfast... that counts, right?? Here's hoping :) 

Confusion and comprehension....

It's been awhile since my last post... and I won't say 'I'm sorry' , well cause I'm not ;)! It's been a tad crazy here (when is it not!). Drew has had a 'meds' adjustment and Cole, well Cole got another pimple(wtf is going ON??)!! The meds adjustment was a bit rough at first but things seem to be leveling out. YAY!! But I am happy to report I 'think' I am seeing good things.. no wait, I know!! (but is it the meds or maturity?) Well whatever, I'll take it!
We had a freak snow storm in OCTOBER!! The 29th to be exact and because the leaves have yet to fall off all the trees(wtf is THAT about??) the snow made the branches sooo heavy that limbs fell everywhere knocking out power.

We didn't lose power right away, like some of our dearest friends did :) or did we lose it for DAYS.. we lost power for 'a day' and when I say 's day' I mean during the DAY... from about 10:45am Sunday morning till about 6:15pm Sunday evening.. But those 7 hours were.........ENLIGHTENING!! Cole understood right away what no power would mean.. no lights, no tv, no INTERNET!!! Drew had a bit tougher time with the concept :( He cried at first.. flicking the light switches on and off... pressing the ON button on the computer... and slowly....very slowly began to understand that 'no power' meant no doing the thing that keep him entertained most days... So instead we built a marble maze, painted, did a puzzle, oh and hand puppets by candle light!!

And just as is started to get dark...and cold...and just when I thought we would at the very least go through the night without power, the lights came ON!!!

Think they were happy?? But anyway all this snow and downed branches and power outages changed EVERYTHING...Halloween....CANCELED!! (or should I say postponed), school....CANCELED for 2 days!! The school Halloween parade and party..postponed... All this "change" confused Drew... "wait no Halloween on Oct. 31st??!!!" Nope, now we'll do that on Friday Nov. 4th!! Along with your school parade and party... confusing for a child with autism to say the least!! Autism can cause very concrete thinking.. black and white.. very little gray... Drew can be a VERY concrete thinker BUT lately he has been much better able to handle the... abstract ;)... So although there was a tad bit of protest and confusion on Monday Oct. 31st both boys ROCKED and embraced our new date!

 Oh and it just soooo like the Universe to throw in a little 'end of daylight savings time' but guess what?? We ROCKED that too!! 
So I don't really care what is bringing on this new level of comprehension... I'm am THRILLED and really truly was never sure if we would get here but here we are!! I, however am still as 'confused' as ever... see somethings remain the same ;).. Peace and love to all :)

It's a good thing...

OMG I feel like Martha f'in Stewart!!! Well at least today aways ;) Here's the story... The boys picked what they were going to be for Halloween a few weeks ago. Cole is going to be YOSHI again..thank God!!(he was Yoshi last year and we already have the costume)

 But I can't find the "hood" anywhere!! But still easy :) (I was just gonna spray his hair green!) And Drew, oh Drew.. wants to be Pegasus!!! Go ahead, Google Pegasus costumes... I'll wait ;)........... The only thing I could find was costumes for little girls or some very "risk-ay " adult ones... So we started small.. I ordered some wings not really knowing what else to do but it was a start...

Drew LOVED his wings!! And then I started looking for white horse ears... go ahead Google those as well... I've got time...... NOTHING good... they all SUCKED... So I had everyone on the look out for "ears". My good friend Donna V found bunny ears...

Not perfect but Drew liked them... I bought a white shirt and silver pants and I thought "Well that's it!! I'm done. Good enough!" But in reality, it was a SHIT costume....And then it came to me... Martha, a glue gun, AC Moore... I could DO THIS!! And off we went... I had no idea what I was doing, really but we walked up and down all the isles... twice... came home and channeled Martha..wait, can you channel a living person?? Oh well... and this is what I came up with...

A Pegasus HAT!!! With mane, I might add!! Oh and I did a little something for Cole as well since he needed a "hat" as well....

So now I feel totally ready for Halloween.... The Halloween Dance... Oh and the Halloween Parade... Damnit, I am Martha f'in Stewart!! Now watch out world, I am "deadly" with my hot glue gun!!

Who's been sleeping in MY bed???

The past few days and nights the boys have been extra huggy and lovey and buggy and such. Both boys love hugs and kisses but lately it seems as if they have needed a few extra (NOT that I am complaining!)...So the last few nights before bed after a whole day of extra hugs and kisses, Cole asks to sleep in my bed! 
Now a little back story. Many may think I'm waaay crunchy and by some standards I might be, but I have never felt that I was total crunch, if you kwim ;)... And I definitely was never one for "co-sleeping" or "the family bed" when my boys were babies BUT on occasion I would sleep with them in their bed or they could come curl up in mine in the middle of the night:)  But my boys never seemed to NEED me to sleep. Now some may argue that being twins and almost always sleeping together in the same crib and bed that they have never really slept alone so in fact maybe do NEED someone to sleep with..... AND yes in the SAME crib till they were over 3 at which point I TRIED to have them sleep in separate beds but they would end up on the floor sleeping together like this... (don't judge!) One of my FAV pics of them :D

 And now of course at 8 years old, sleep in 2 twin day beds squished together like ONE BIG crib!!

 So anyway the last few nights Cole and Drew climb into their bed to have a "story" and after, Drew curls up under his blanket and goes to sleep, while Cole jumps out of his bed and goes into mine....

Bringing most of his stuffed animals and pillow pets... It's cool though. I don't mind, but I wonder what brought this on and how many more nights it's going to go on ;) It's all good. They don't stay little forever, right??.... Now I wonder how long before Drew gets the bright idea and I end up with BOTH boys in my bed...Oh well winter is coming and we ALL know how damn cold I keep the house!! Looks like I'll be welcoming the "Abney Family Bed" ;)... for now.... I may be a tad more crunchy than I think... 
Happy Friday all... Extra love, hugs and kisses from the Abney house!

I just can't do it...

I just can't blog everyday... My life is just NOT that interesting ;) And I REALLY don't think you people need to hear about my sh*t on a daily basis. A good friend of mine just gave me some AMAZING advice.. "Pay attention to your journey, watch your step.."... Oh and to "wear heels to bed"... long story ;)

So I'm gonna do just that...among the many other things I need to do...Color my hair, pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs(just kidding, I don't do that much!), mop the floors, cut the grass, clean the sheets, groom some dogs, wash the dishes, clean out the frig, clean out the car, pay some bills, go grocery shopping, dust, vacuum (CAREFULLY, another long story!)... oh and be ME... Now to dig up a pair of heels! Happy Tuesday people :)

Who let the dogs in?

We have 4 boarders here.. that means a total of 6 DOGS in the house... It's tight, it's messy, it's smelly and I wouldn't have it any other way... :)
I was helping Drew "clean up" his computer and while we were waiting..... I said "Hey Drew, can you let the dogs in?" (they were out in the backyard) Now because Drew has autism SOMETIMES I don't think he is aware of all the "things" that go on around him...and most times, I am wrong :) and he always lets me know just how wrong I am ;) , sorta like today.. So when I asked if he could let the dogs in, I didn't really think he would or that he would even know the names of ALL the doggies that are here or that he would get them all IN!!... So off he runs to the back door... "Maggie, Miles (our dogs), Mickey (just like one of ours!), Alex (another one just like family!), RASHARD (fam as well)!!! Casey (this one too)!!"( and who am I kidding, most dogs that stay here are totally part of the pack) Some come in!! Holy Sh*t!! And the ones that didn't??? Well he called them AGAIN!! "RASHARD!! (we always yell a little louder for him!), Casey COME!!, ALEEEEX COME!!! (him too!)"  And just like that.. all the dogs were in the house!

That kid of mine.. he may not say much(except when calling the dogs!) BUT there is SOOoooOOoo much inside that brilliant mind of his... :).
Who let the dogs in??? DREW did, that's who :)

Help me spell...

Cole is a sleepwalker... He has had night wakings/night terrors since he was a baby but the sleep WALKING has been going on about a year or two. When it first started he would just get up and go to the bathroom, then come into my room crying, babbling and usually saying things I could not understand. As time has gone on he seems to do more while he is sleepwalking... going downstairs, turning on lights, sometimes the tv and just standing in the room crying... 
Now school has been going ok.. Cole REALLY needs and IEP (individual education plan) but for now I have only been able to get him a 504 (don't ask). His Dyslexia is becoming more and more apparent. The school will not be able to ignore it for much longer and I guess I will be gearing up for another fight but for now we are making are way through 3rd grade...
The other night Cole got up. I wasn't sure if he was awake or not. He came into my room to tell me he was going to the bathroom.. after a few minutes I could hear him downstairs crying... SLEEPWALKING ...ugh! And this time he was trying to get to the kitchen..OH NO he is going further and further.. Need to lock up the back door so he can't get out!.. Anyway.. I get him back upstairs...he is crying.. and talking and I can understand him... "Please help me...help me... help me SPELL.."... OH GOD this poor kid thinks about not being able to spell in his SLEEP!! ... :(
Today he had a play date with his friend Nick and my rules are, if you have play date during the week you MUST do homework together...

This is where is becomes CRYSTAL CLEAR how much Cole struggles(not that I didn't know..but to see him next to a "typical" kid it's really CLEAR!).. breaks my heart and pisses me OFF that the school has yet to acknowledge... But no worries, this Momma Bear knows the drill and is ready to fight! And although it is hard to watch my kid struggle with academics, he doesn't struggle with his friendships...

 SO that's the silver lining... Cole is a great friend and HAS great friends... I'll take that and deal with getting C's in school... He doesn't need any help spelling F.R.I.E.N.D.S. :)

Goodbye Fast.... :(

It started about 3 years ago. The boys "won" some goldfish (can you say $.15 feeder fish) at summer camp. They named them "Fast" and "Nemo" 

They were all right...the boys lost interest pretty quick (SHOCKER!!) and I got stuck taking care of them (another SHOCKER!). Let me say, I don't like fish... I resented having to feed them (which I BARELY did) and clean them (what's that??) and I couldn't wait for them to die!! (did I say that out loud?) But those f*ckers wouldn't die!!! Well until the other day... Fast looked pretty bad... almost dead.. but that little sh*t kept on moving everytime I would try to "fish" ;) him out and flush him!! But it was clear he wasn't going to make it .. YAY!! (did I just "yay"??.. *hangs head in shame*..) And finally he went to the big fishbowl in the sky...phew! Only one more, Nemo, needed to drop dead and I would be FREE!!! Free of additional duties I really didn't want. I didn't tell the boys that Fast died. I wanted to see if they would even notice. Well not 24 hours later Cole says " HEY where's Fast??" SHIT!! "Well son, he's dead" And then... then it happened.... he's eyes filled up with tears and at that moment I knew.. I knew I wouldn't be done with these damn FISH!! On a positive note, Drew didn't really care ;)!
So today we headed out to get "Fast #2" and "Rockin' Fish"....

They are ugly as H*LL... not even "gold"... and the only 2 that looked like this. .. but these were the ones they wanted :) And so far so good... everyone seems happy!

And I guess I'm happy too...well just a little..if it makes the boys happy then I'm happy (sorta!)... Oh and BTW did you know......

Happy Friday all!! Now go out and change your life... just don't do it with eyelash extensions, try a "gold"fish or two instead!

3 Weeks....WOW

So today has been 3 weeks since Drew started medication. At first I saw some minor improvement but didn't really feel there was a WOW effect...but when I look back to where we were 3 weeks ago, 3 months ago... well you be the judge..

This was a few months ago. Drew hiding in the basement, tucked away in his "skweezer" (http://www.etsy.com/listing/55597817/solid-color-therapeutic-spacial-body?ref=pr_shop) during a thunder storm. Btw, the "skweezer" ROCKS! 
And now 3 weeks into meds we have this...

This was on the way to school this morning. Drew had already checked the weather and knew we would have some storms today but he was still ALL smiles (and Cole as well... but he LOVES the rain!) Oh and btw Drew is back to eating the same thing EVERY day for lunch... I guess it could be worse . But sometimes he wants it for dinner as well. Not the hill I'll die on ;)

Which means weekly trips to IKEA and Trader Joe's (not that I mind!). And Dawn, this means you need to get that car from your kid!!

Yes THIS kid (not the dog).. Michaela I am talking to YOU!! Back away from the car.. for one day, please <3
OK well I digress .. sorry ;). SO today during school pick up it POURED!! Wind, rain, thunder, lightning, the WORKS.... and once we got home it was still raining and pouring and this, my friends (and family) was Drew...

UPSTAIRS, smiling, playing on the computer, blinds OPEN(he used to close them) and no tears. HOLY SH*T.... I think we may have our WOW effect!
Now don't get me wrong, we are still dealing with a tiny bit of anxiety but NOTHING like before... Thank you pharmaceuticals!!
And because we were soaked from the rain we decided to make the rest of the day PJ day....

The boys are off from school tomorrow so I think I'll put my feet up, pour a glass of wine(or 2!) and enjoy the WOW....
Happy Thursday :)

Bad news...

I hate to report this... but D-Day will NOT happening tomorrow.. :(.. I won't get into details because it's just so annoying BUT I know one day it WILL happen...There is a light at the end of this tunnel..a dim light but a light none the less.. So I'll be back here soon writing and posting about sh*t no one really cares about... alright maybe you care a little ;)  Oh well it's just the reminder I need to live for today and be in the moment and not worry about tomorrow... So I'm off..off to be... to be me :) Peace people!

D-Day

Alight, I am taking a full on break from this, although I have sooOOOooo much to say (as per usual!)... D-Day (divorce day) is scheduled YET AGAIN, for THIS friday Sept. 23 and I need to concentrate (right!) .... Fingers crossed, toes as well, chant, send vibes, pray, do whatever the f*ck you do... but just think of me a teeny weeny bit on Friday. I  NEED this, I WANT this DONE... it's been a long time coming. So I will be doing ALL of the above hoping that this Friday is FINALLY the day.. guess I'll need to smudge again since I did it last time this was supposed to go down and never did.. I think the "smudging" has worn off ;) SO after this is all said and done I'll have a ton more sh*t to blog about... my favorite time of year is almost upon us.. FALL/WINTER!! Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas.. bring it!! Oh and Kelsey has finally moved in YAY!!!! This is going to be GREAT!! Love to all <3 

Look what we can do!!!

Look what the kids can do...

But that's not what this post is about.. I just wanted to brag ;) and Cole REALLY wanted me to put this up on the blog... :D
Ok so I took Drew to our Neurologist last week.... and after a VERY long appointment and a LOT of discussion we decided to try Drew on medication for his anxiety and OCD issues. I guess I always knew we would come to this day and although some parents may be a wreck over this kind of decision, I am very at peace.. SCARED to death.. but at peace with my decision. He will be starting on a VERY low dose and once we find the right one, he will stay on it for a total of 2 months and then go off and  "coast". The idea being that if he can overcome his anxiety and OCD ON meds and see that nothing bad happens, we HOPE that it will stick... and if not.. no big deal.. we go back on again. Now don't get me wrong, I am not thrilled that my 8 year old is on DRUGS!! (well legal prescription DRUGS) but I know he needs "something".  And although it has only been barely a week I see many positive things!! REALLY!! His comprehension is better. His communication is better. That hat has been off for longer periods of time!!! BUT he did have a MAJOR meltdown this morning.. scary meltdown and I wasn't even sure if he could go to school (not blaming the meds but who knows!)... but we have the most AMAZING person in our lives (we have a few others as well..I think you know who you are!) ... Ms. C (Drew's aide) and she made it all better... really she is a miracle worker... Now I may just really WANT to believe the meds are working/helping...but I really think they are.. :) The meltdown was big and Ms. C was able to defuse it but I really think he is better able to handle all that is being thrown at him right now much better ( school starting, new teacher, etc)...all in all I am thrilled..I know there is no miracle drug to "fix" Drew's autism (I don't even think that is the right word, I'm not trying to "fix" him.. just help and support) but I do know that I will do all I can to make life more manageable for him... AND Cole too. Got to work on that kid as well!... Now what the hell do I get to make life more manageable??? Oh right, wine and chocolate.. ok I'll take it :) 
Oh and the kid (Drew) who b*tched and moaned about having his picture taken today (today was picture day) seemed to have gotten over it and had it done...(THANK YOU Ms. C for making it happen!!) I only had a little bit of luck this morning.. 

So look what we can do on MEDS!!! and a little help from some of our favorite people!!! Happy Tuesday all :)