It's not easy....

I had a meeting today at school. The boys are in the same class this year so meeting with only one teacher has been nice... :) We are trying to get together once a month to discuss the boys progress (or lack there of). 

Cole has dyslexia (and an auditory processing disorder ( I hate that word "disorder") ) He has a 504 at school but it's just not enough and fortunately (and unfortunately) it is becoming more and more apparent (the school is STILL fighting me on giving Cole an IEP) that he is struggling ...

Really?? How hard is it to see?? Well to be honest his teacher sees it! (we <3 her) but the CST (child study team) is ignoring it ....for now ;-)... I'll get it!!! Watch me :)

Drew is doing well. A few outbursts here and there, good days and some not so good days... but his teacher and Ms C are AMAZING!! SO grateful to have Ms C with him again... we need her around FOREVER :) So onward we go...trying to keep Drew in a good place and GETTING Cole in one!!

Years ago when Drew was first diagnosed with autism I was searching the internet.... researching... I came across a site with a picture of a boy and his autism story..in the back round played  "Superman" by Five for Fighting....

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
And it's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away, away from me
It's all right, you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy, or anything

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
I'm only a man
Looking for a dream

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it's not easy

Its not easy to be me

UGH!! I love that song but now it was going to be forever associated (for me) with autism.... But I guess the words are true (some days)...and lately, for Cole, It's NOT easy...

Today after school while walking to the car, Drew was singing... and out of the blue..."I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane.... And it's not easy to beeeeeee me"... 

No kid, sometimes it's not... but sometimes it's amazingly wonderful :-) Bigger, brighter days ahead for my Supermen!

Don't judge...

Yesterday we were off to buy new shoes for Cole...For the first time Cole outgrew his shoes but didn't quite make it into Drew's old shoes (too big)....  I promised them lunch at Wendy's hoping it would illicit  good behavior for the dreaded shoe shopping. 
As we were standing in line at Wendy's to order I see a little boy RUNNING all over the place! Mom placing her order and yelling for him to PLEASE stop... I judged...ever so briefly...but I judged.. "Ugh seriously" I said to myself... "this is not a playground" And moved on...
We get our food and now I have completely forgotten about the running, screaming child...we sit down..3 tables in a corner and 2 are already taken but this where my kids want to sit. An older woman sits at the middle table and a mom and her young son sit at the table next to her ... I over hear a conversation they are having (clearly strangers but chatting non the less)... and they are talking about autism.... I wonder if I should chime in or just keep to myself.. but at this point I realize the woman I just judged 5 minutes ago was sitting right here and her son has autism.... and I judged her..She was ME when Drew was younger (and not that we don't still have moments..but...). She begins to talk about vaccines and not wanting to do them anymore and of course the issue with going to school... here's my chance. I have info that can help her...no more judging, just the opportunity to help another mom... So we ALL begin chatting! How nice it was to learn about this mom and her son and turns out the older woman's husband has Aspergers and their daughter has 5 kids all with "something" (autism, aspergers, cognitive issues). What are the chances we would all meet!?
The mom and I exchange emails so I could send her some info and she leaves with her once again RUNNING through the restaurant son :-)... The other woman and I sit and chat for awhile.. She talked with my boys and picked up on sooo much. She could see how sweet and smart Drew is ...She saw how amazingly bright Cole was but KNEW he had some "issues". WOW this woman meets us and talks with us for maybe 15 minutes and can "see" all this!!....totally nonjudgemental. How nice it was to have a total stranger take some time to talk with us and NOT judge.... BIG lesson learned...So no silly, goofy pictures or stories of the boys today... Just a BIG thank you to the Universe for stepping in ...I needed that :)
Peace people.....